Raising a child is not fun all the time. It becomes even more difficult when you have full-time job. There will be days when your dual responsibilities will take a toll on your body and you will feel like giving up. So, in today's article, we will understand why do working moms often struggle with negative thoughts and how to regain control over your life.
Reasons Why Working Moms Feel Despondent?
Lack of confidence
The idea of maternity leave coming to an end can be unsettling. Many women who return to work after years admit that they feel they aren't competent enough to compete with young and enthusiastic freshers. Not working for a long time can do this to you.
What's the best way of dealing with these negative thoughts? The longer the break, the more self-doubt you may have. So, it will be better if you do not sacrifice your career entirely. Although the thought of leaving a small baby with a babysitter can intimidate you at first, don't forget that work and family are equally important.
Also, no matter how many years you have been a stay-at-home mom, you still have work experience. Hence, instead of thinking you aren't good enough, upgrade your skills and take the next step.
Mom guilt
Many working moms constantly feel guilty when they are unable to cater to the needs of their baby all the time. That's because for centuries women have been told that they are the primary caregiver and nothing's more important than motherhood. There's an enormous societal pressure on mothers to always be the first person to wake up each time the baby cries in the middle of the night. Don't let anyone have such unrealistic expectations from you. While motherhood is a beautiful feeling, your life doesn't have to end there.
So, never let negative thoughts like feelings of guilt and feelings of inadequacy clutter your mind as they will only ruin your peace. Yes, your little one will miss you when you aren't around and wonder where you are, but they will soon get accustomed to your absence. They will understand that you have a professional life, and they will be proud of you.
Moreover, ask any woman who have left their jobs to raise their children, it is not going to be easy to get back into the dynamic working world after a decade. And when your child grows up, they will have a life of their own. So, if you don't have a career at that time, you will be lonely and miserable.
No work-life balance
Having a bad job and a whiny kid can make you feel like you are going crazy. Studies reveal that this is one of the biggest challenges faced by working moms. And if this continues, you may end up feeling seriously depressed. So, it will be wise to seek a solution to this problem. You can change your job or set boundaries. Balancing work and family life are important if you want to continue working and be happy and healthy at the same time.
Extreme exhaustion
When a person's body and mind are fatigued, it is impossible to feel great at those times. Burnout in working moms is very common and it is among the major causes of unhappiness. Additionally, if your body does not get rest, your mental and physical health will be affected. You will also be cranky and your relationship with your spouse and baby may get strained.
So, come up with a plan that allows you to get sufficient rest. You can hire domestic help as handling a small baby is already a full-time job. If you have the option to do a part-time job instead of working full-time, grab it. You have to prioritize self-care to bid adieu to negative thoughts.
No moral support
Most working mothers who are unhappy often do not have a supportive spouse. How can you be cheerful if you are always doing something - be it playing with the baby, meeting deadlines, or doing the laundry? You will feel trapped, and you may even regret starting a family in the first place. This will give birth to many negative feelings like hatred, rage, resentment, and anger.
Therefore, stop treating yourself like a robot and be transparent with your partner. You are both working parents and you need to divide the household chores.
Additionally, there are many support groups for supporting working mothers who are having a tough time. You can join such support networks and seek support who are going through the same challenges that you are.
How to Get Rid of Negative Thoughts as a Working Mom?
Now that you have learnt why you haven't been your usual cheerful self lately, let's find out what you can do about it. Here are some ways to keep negative thoughts at bay:
- Instead of giving all your time to the baby, spend quality time with them creating special memories.
- Practice mindfulness to manage chronic stress.
- Forget about societal expectations and just live your life the way you want.
- Having personal time to watch a movie or read a book can be extremely healing.
- Choose a less demanding and flexible work that will keep you financially independent without sucking the life out of you.
- Replace feelings of isolation with feelings of fulfilment by surrounding yourself with friends and family.
- Practicing self-compassion and relaxing without mom guilt are also crucial for working moms.
Encouraging Quotes to Eliminate Negative Thoughts
Be it postpartum depression or suffering from imposter syndrome, reading encouraging quotes and positive affirmations can be cheer you up instantly. So, here are some quotes by successful women who have gone through what you are experiencing now:
- “Get rid of the guilt....When you're at one place, don't feel bad that you're not at work; when you're at work, don't feel bad that you're not at home." - by Katie Couric (journalist, author, and TV personality)
- “If I’m pursuing my goals, my kids are seeing me at my best. I am filled up, I am happy, I am not feeling empty, depleted, and therefore resentful about the fact that I’m missing out. I don’t want them to feel like I’ve sacrificed, I don’t want them to feel that burden. I always remember that a happy working woman is a happy mother.” - Shonda Rhimes (author and producer)
- “For me, being a mother made me a better professional, because coming home every night to my girls reminded me what I was working for. And being a professional made me a better mother, because by pursuing my dreams, I was modeling for my girls how to pursue their dreams.” - Michelle Obama (author and lawyer)
- The fastest way to break the cycle of perfectionism and become a fearless mother is to give up the idea of doing it perfectly—indeed to embrace uncertainty and imperfection.” - Arianna Huffington (CEO and writer)
- “I want her to know something that I feel is important. I love work. I love her and I love work, and I want her to know work’s a good thing. It’s not something you’re dragged off to.” - Hoda Kotb (journalist and author)
- “This struggle is real. The juggle is real. That’s why everyone should hire working mothers. They are put in crazy situations all the time and are forced to problem-solve. They are some of my most resourceful employees.” - Sara Blakely (entrepreneur and philanthropist))
To Sum Up
So, lovely ladies, give yourselves enough credit for all the hard work that you do. Trust me, you aren't falling short as there's no such thing as a perfect mom.
Q. Why do working moms often struggle with negative thoughts?
Working moms can experience depressing or negative thoughts due to various factors like mom guilt, career-family conflict, work pressure, time-management stress, not getting enough sleep, etc.
Q. What strategies can working mothers use to combat negative self-talk?
To avoid negative self-talk, busy working moms should say no to working mom guilt, sleep well at night, pamper themselves, have a relaxing hobby, and catch up with their friends.